


Endgame

by pinkspotlight



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Language, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Language, Multi, Physical Abuse, Racism, Redemption, Sexism, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Threats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-04-23 10:38:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14330676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkspotlight/pseuds/pinkspotlight
Summary: Billy Hargrove didn’t ask for help, but he’d finally run up against a problem he couldn’t fight, bully, or sweet talk his way out of. The coach was threatening to bench him if he didn’t get his grades up. Penelope West wasn’t his first choice, but maybe she could teach him more than just how to work equations—maybe she could teach him how to be a decent human being.Notes: This makes no attempt to excuse the fact that canon Billy Hargrove is racist and abusive but does treat them as starting points for character development. My Hawkins, Indiana is also present-day rather than in the 1980’s. I don’t think I can accurately capture the time period, and I don’t really want to write a world that doesn’t have cell phones and Taylor Swift. If I have missed a trigger that you’d like tagged, please let me know!18+; NSFW; Trigger Warnings: abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, domestic violence, violence, language, alcohol abuse, threats, racism, sexism, homophobia





	1. Chapter 1

Mr. Cooper’s chemistry class was Penelope’s favorite place, even when there were people streaming in and out of it. She preferred it empty, when there was no one around to distract her from her work. The cool black lab tables and the rows of gleaming, empty beakers felt like another world from the sad, dingy slowness of the rest of Hawkins. It reminded her that there was something more than this, something to look forward to.

She was taking her time gathering her things up after class. Penny rarely rushed. She was organized and composed, and she knew she had enough time to get to her next class with some to spare. She also knew there was someone standing behind her. She could sense eyes on her even before she turned around, but she wasn’t expecting those eyes to belong to Billy Hargrove. He was leaning against a lab table like someone had posed him, all tight jeans and slow smirk.

“Hey. You got a minute?”

“Maybe one,” she allowed cautiously. She had several minutes, but she wasn’t certain she wanted to spend them with him. They’d never had a conversation before. They certainly didn’t run in the same circles. Penny wasn’t sure she wanted to start now.

“Good. I need your help with something. You’re pretty good at this chemistry shit, right?”

“I’m pretty good at a lot of things. Why?” she said coolly. She was afraid she knew where this was going. Billy had caused a scene during library tutoring sessions earlier in the week. Penelope hadn’t been there herself, although she was a volunteer there during study halls, but she’d heard all about how he’d shouted at his tutor—a nice girl Penny knew in passing named Allison—and flipped a table. He was banned from the library for the rest of the year.

“Because I need to pass, or I can’t play basketball.” There was a thread of anger in his voice over the injustice. He wasn’t quite glaring at her, but the smirk had faded.

“And?” She wasn’t going to make it easier for him. He clearly didn’t know how to ask someone for help, and she was worried she was going to do something stupid—like say yes. She was hoping if she stretched this conversation out, he would give her a reason not to.

“And I want you to help me.” The anger was more pronounced now. Billy scratched the back of his neck, then dropped his arm and straightened up off the table. It took her a moment to realize he was uncomfortable. That made two of them, but Penelope kept all her discomfort on the inside. She’d had years to perfect it.

“Why would I do that?” But really she was saying _give me a reason not to_. Billy didn’t disappoint. He slammed a hand down on the lab table in front of her. Penelope didn't jump, but the look she gave him warned him to be careful.

“Listen.” He made a visible effort to rein in his temper. It had already cost him something once this week. “I need to pass chem so I can get the fuck out of this place. You're pals with Cooper, so I know you can make it happen.”

She studied his face, searching for some sign of sincerity. She knew what it was to want to leave Hawkins. Not just to want it, but to need it way down deep. It was knowing that if she stayed in this place for too long, it would kill her. Not all at once, but a piece at a time. She couldn't tell if it was the same for Billy, but there was something in his expression that made her hesitate.

He must have seen it because he reached for her arm. Penny automatically took a step back. He froze before he could touch her, then raised his hand like he was surrendering and let it drop.

“What do you want for it?”

_Shit_. Penelope took a slow breath. There was nothing that she wanted from the keg king of Hawkins, and the fact that he even asked it that way—like people didn’t just do kind things for other people—made her insides twist. If he had been almost anyone else, she would have offered her help freely by now, without the song and dance. She wasn’t being fair to him. Silently studying his face, she guessed she wasn’t the first person to be unfair to Billy Hargrove.

“What I want,” she repeated slowly, “Is for you to never try to intimidate me into something again. Do you understand?”

He met her gaze, the hint of a smirk touching his lips. “Can I try other ways?”

Penny smiled, realized it would give him entirely the wrong idea and made herself stop, then smiled again before she could help it.

“If you think you can.” _Oh Penny, you did not just tease him_. She went on before he could say anything else. “You can do whatever you need to do to blow off steam—yell, throw things, whatever—but if you lay a hand on me, then we’re finished. Okay?”

The smile faded, instantly replaced by simmering anger. She imagined she could feel the heat of it from two feet away “What kind of guy do you think I am?”

“I have no idea what kind of guy you are,” she said simply. “I’m telling you what kind of girl I am. Do we have an agreement?”

“Yeah. Whatever.” He shook the tension out of his hands, still pissed.

“Alright. Then I’ll see you after basketball practice. Mr. Cooper lets me use this room to study, so we can meet in here.”

“Every day?”

Penny tilted her head. She couldn’t tell if he was bothered by the idea or if he wanted to do this every day.

“That’s up to you. I’m here every day, so I guess… if you’re not coming, just let me know.”

“Fine. Later.” He gave her a curt nod and turned for the door.

“Hey, Billy?” she called after him, and he paused. “First lesson. When you ask someone for help, try using the words please, thank you, and will you help me?”

For a second, he looked like he was about to smile. Then the too-cool-for-everything expression returned to his face. “Fuck off. How’s that?”

Penny shook her head as he disappeared out the door and slid her bag over her shoulder. She knew she’d done the right thing, but she had a feeling she’d be kicking herself for it repeatedly over the next few weeks—assuming he lasted that long.

Perfect grades clearly weren’t enough to make a smart person, she reflected as she left the room. She had to hurry to get to her next class before the bell.

* * *

 

He was fifteen minutes late. Penny told herself she wasn't surprised as she worked through her calculus problems. What she hadn't told Billy was that it didn't matter if he showed. Most days, she would have been in this exact place anyway, working on her homework or an article for the school paper. Mr. Cooper had let her use the lab since her freshman year. He didn't really know anything about her homelife, but he guessed enough not to force her out after he caught her sneaking in a few times a week. The school library was too dark after lights out, while the lab had a row of windows overlooking the quad. The public library was too far to walk every day. By process of elimination, the lab had become her refuge.

His hair was still damp from the shower when he showed up. Twenty minutes. Penelope knew it couldn't have taken that long, but she looked up with a mild smile when he approached her table in the back. In class, she sat at the front like the other model students, but at night, she preferred the extra space at the back of the room.

“Hey.” She gestured for him to take a seat and he did, sliding onto the lab stool next to hers.

“Hey.” His jaw was clenched, and she could tell he wasn’t happy to be there.

“How was practice?”

He scoffed. “What do you care?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

She could feel his eyes on her again. Billy’s gaze had a weight to it.

“You care about basketball?”

“Not at all,” she admitted, setting down her pencil. “But if we’re going to do this, we should at least be friendly.”

“You want to be my friend?” He smiled slowly, his tongue flicking out over his bottom lip.

“Think your reputation can handle it?” She quirked an eyebrow. Billy gave a low chuckle.

“I don’t usually have friends who are girls.”

“I’m shocked,” Penny said dryly. “Did you bring your book?”

She was surprised when he nodded and pulled it out of a battered backpack that she'd never seen him use before. She'd never seen him with a book before either.

He slammed it on the table between them, seeming to enjoy the noise, and flipped to the chapter they were on in class.

“Actually, I was thinking we should start here.” She flipped back toward the beginning of the book.

“Why the fuck would we do that?”

“Because chemistry builds on itself. If you don't understand the beginning concepts, you won't be able to understand the ones we're on now.”

“Are you saying I'm an idiot?” There was a thread of something dangerous in his tone. Penelope leveled him with a flat stare. 

“You asked me for my help. This is what I think will help. Our next exam isn't for three more weeks. That's more than enough time to get you caught up.”

He gave a snort of disdain. “If I skip my social life and hang out with you every day.”

Penny fought down the urge to defend the space. Her space. It wouldn't be helpful right now.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said instead. “Your social life doesn’t start this early, and I have to work at eight.”

He stared at her for a moment, and then he laughed, a surprised sound that ended quickly, but killed any remaining tension. “Fine.” He waved a hand over their books. “Let's do this.”

 

 

They did. Penny talked him through the basic concepts of their first few weeks of class. Billy listened with more attentiveness than she'd thought him capable of. He didn't ask a lot of questions, but he was able to explain things back to her when she asked him to.

The time passed quickly. That wasn't a surprise for Penny, who had always found refuge in her studies, but it was a surprise that Billy Hargrove wasn't that bad when he forgot about being Billy Hargrove.

“Where do you work?” he asked, while he penciled through a practice equation.

“The all-night movie theater in town.”

He nodded like he knew of it. Penny figured everyone did. There weren’t a lot of other options for entertainment in Hawkins.

“Do you get to watch movies for free?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Usually only a little at a time though. If it's a slow night, I can catch ten minutes here or there.”

The scratching of his pencil paused, and he raised an eyebrow. “You don't watch a whole movie?”

“I could, I guess. I don't usually have time.”

“Too busy kissing Cooper's ass?”

Penny didn't think that merited a response.

“Why did you take chemistry?” she asked instead. “You could have gotten by in earth science—”

“With the rest of the morons?” He cut her off, looking angry. 

“Of course not,” Penny said calmly. “I just meant that if you're not looking for a career in science, you probably don't need this. Do you know what you want to go to school for?”

“No,” he said shortly, and then he said nothing for so long that she thought the conversation was over. “My dad made me take it,” he said finally. 

Penny nodded, recognizing by his tone and the angry press of his pencil into the paper that she shouldn't pursue the subject.

“Why are you in chemistry?” he said after another minute of silence had passed. “Don't they have some advanced shit for you to take?”

“Hawkins doesn't offer AP. There isn't any funding for it. Cooper is going to let me take an independent study with him next year though.”

“Smart girls are sexy.” He grinned.

“How would you know?” Penny raised an eyebrow. She knew what kind of girls he hung out with. He laughed a slow, soft chuckle.

“I’m looking at one, aren’t I?”

Billy’s eyes traced over her, and she felt it almost like he’d used his hands. It was that sort of look. She wasn’t sure whether she should feel flattered or uncomfortable, but her heart raced either way.

“I’m going to be sick,” she muttered instead. Penelope never let anyone think they’d gotten to her if she could help it.

He laughed again, that short, surprised laugh that she was beginning to suspect was his real laugh. She liked it more than the contrived, sexy one.

“You want me to stop flirting with you?”

“I want you to work through that problem.” She tilted her head at his notebook, and he put his pencil dutifully back to the paper.

“Good.” She nodded when he’d gotten the right answer, and he looked faintly surprised.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Which one?” She knew which one, and Billy’s look said he knew it too, but he smiled and repeated himself.

“Do you want me to stop flirting with you?”

“I don’t think you could if you tried,” she said honestly.

“Oh, I could.” He rested his arm on the table and leaned toward her. “Most girls at this school would love to have me flirt with them.”

Penny leaned back a little so he wasn’t quite so much in her space.

“I know. That’s part of the problem, actually. I’d be more flattered if I thought you hadn’t said the same thing to every girl in Hawkins.”

“Every girl but one,” he breathed. He leaned closer, and short of getting up and moving away, Penny had nowhere else to go.

“Why don’t we just keep this professional.” She nudged the book toward him. “Tell me what sublimation is again?”

He sighed, but he moved back to his own side of the table without complaint. It was just a game to him, getting her to admit he had an effect on her. He’d probably have an effect on a houseplant if he put his mind to it.

“I don’t remember. Something changing into something else?”

“Solid into gas.” She nodded.

“Right. Without being a liquid first,” he said.

“Exactly.” Penny smiled. “You’re getting it.”

 

Billy said nothing, because she was the first person to think so. Oh, his teachers and his father expected him to do well. In part, he thought, just to punish him when he didn’t, but nobody honestly thought he could do this. Not even Billy.

The thought sent a strange kind of unease through him, and he did as she asked for the rest of the evening and kept things professional. He’d thought it would be easier if he actually liked this girl. It would make the time go faster, make the act of studying not quite so torturous. But now, he wasn’t sure he wanted to like her. It would just make it that much harder when she walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18+; NSFW; Trigger Warnings: abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, domestic violence, violence, language, alcohol abuse, threats, racism, sexism, homophobia (If I have missed a trigger that you’d like tagged, please let me know!)

Billy ignored her completely in school, and that was fine with Penelope. They weren’t friends, and she’d prefer not to have to deal with Tommy and Carol, who followed in his wake like a couple of obnoxious parasites. Last year, it had been Steve Harrington, until he grew a conscience and became tolerable to be around, and Penny disliked them more for their faithlessness. Clearly, any king would do.

She yawned, standing in front of her locker on Monday morning, when Jonathan appeared at her elbow. He held out a battered paperback copy of _Good Omens_.

“Here, I finished it this weekend. It’s great. Better than _Hitchhiker’s_ ,” he added, which was practically a speech coming from him.

“Oh, thanks. It might be a while. I’m still finishing that Vonnegut one you gave me.” She smiled, flipping the book to skim the back cover. They had been doing this since grade school. Money was tight in both their households, and the Hawkins library left a lot to be desired, so they traded books back and forth whenever they could find them. She wasn’t totally certain which books on her shelf belonged to her and which belonged to Jonathan.

“No rush.”

She tucked the book safely onto the top shelf of her locker and pulled out her chemistry book.

“What’s great about it?” she asked.

“It’s funny. Well-written. A little over the top sometimes, but that’s comedy. It’s kind of… _sincere_ though. You know how _Hitchhiker’s_ has all the nihilism? This seems like it’s saying some stuff really does matter, and—”

He broke off as someone careened into Penny from behind. She stumbled into her locker, her books tumbling to the floor.

“Ow,” she muttered, rubbing her elbow.

She didn’t spend a lot of her free time thinking about the hierarchy of their high school, but occasionally it was unavoidable. Carol didn’t even bother to look over her shoulder as she went by, cackling with Tommy.

“Drop something?” Billy trailed behind them, a smirk on his lips. His eyes flickered over Jonathan in a way that was clearly meant to be offensive before he moved on. Penny shook her head as she bent to pick up her book.

“Tell me again why you’re helping that asshole?” Jonathan frowned after them.

“If someone needs help, I don’t think the ‘why’ matters that much. They just need help, so you help.” She shrugged, sliding her books into her bag and closing her locker. Jonathan was staring at her, eyebrow slightly raised, and she laughed. “That's stupid, right?”

“Good, you heard me.”

* * *

 

“Goddamnit!” Billy slammed his book shut and shoved it off the table. “Why can’t I remember this shit? I fucking had this on Friday!” He stood, knocking the wooden stool over in his fury. That had been an accident, but he kicked it aside anyway for good measure and angrily paced the room.

It was Monday afternoon, and his head still ached from the amount of alcohol consumed over the weekend. He’d gotten every practice question wrong in the past hour.

“It’s okay.” Penelope was unshakable. He was beginning to think she was always like that, although he hadn’t really put it to the test yet. Few people could get tempers going like Billy could. “You’re new to this. You can’t just start something you’ve never done before and expect to be good at it.”

He stared at her until she cracked a smile.

“Alright, maybe _you_ can. But even if you have a natural talent for things, you still have to practice to get better at them. That’s why you have basketball practice five days a week, right?”

“Don’t pretend you understand basketball,” he snapped.

Penny sighed. “I’m just saying that you have time to get better at this.”

“Well, I’m not as fucking patient as you are.”

“You bring other things to the table.” She smiled. “Like charisma. And… volume.”

He wasn’t sure exactly what charisma was, but it sounded like a compliment. There was a tug at his temper, like he might be able to let it go if he wanted to. He wasn’t sure he wanted to. He’d never met anyone who could defuse him like that, who just didn’t respond to his anger at all. Half of him wanted to smile back at her, and the other half was furious at being patronized. The feeling was too complicated. He defaulted to anger because it was the thing he knew best.

“Why are you so fucking calm?” He kicked over another stool, relishing in the clatter that it made. Penny’s smile faded, and she looked askance at him for taking it out on the furniture.

“There’s nothing to be angry about. You’ll get this. You’d probably have it already if you weren’t still hungover.” She shook her head and turned back to her calculus homework.

Billy couldn’t stand the thread of judgment in her tone, but her refusal to look at him was worse. He hated being ignored. He’d rather be judged. He’d rather be yelled at. He slammed a hand on the table next to her, leaning down into her space until she had to look at him.

“Are you gonna pretend I’m not here?” His voice had gone quiet and dangerous.

Penelope met his gaze without flinching. “Of course not. But there’s no reason for both of us to not get any work done.”

He snatched her notebook away and threw it across the room, not even looking at where it landed. He couldn’t read her expression and didn’t want to try. The anger in him had simmered down to the place he went when he was about to do something awful, and there wasn’t enough left of him to care. He smiled and knew it was cruel.

“You think you’re so fuckin’ smart. Straight-A Penelope, who never drinks or steps outta line or loses her temper. You think that makes you better than everyone? Everyone’s right about you,” he said. “You’re a stuck-up bitch.”

“Billy—” she started.

He cut her off. “We’re done.” He yanked his backpack off the floor and shoved his book inside it as he stalked toward the door.

 

Penelope sat there in silence for a few minutes, half expecting him to come storming back in. She didn’t pretend to understand how his moods worked, and a part of her was a little relieved. Maybe this was it. Maybe the part of her life that had Billy Hargrove in it was over now. She couldn’t bring herself to feel sad about that, not after what he’d just said to her, but she thought she might be later once the sting wore off. Just a little.

When it became apparent that he wasn’t coming back, she retrieved her notebook and went back to her homework. Working through the problems kept her brain from chasing circles around his words, and by the time she’d finished, she had almost managed to put it out of her mind. Four days. Honestly, she’d expected him to last a little longer than that. At least a week.

She lingered later than usual in the lab. She didn’t work tonight, and it was early to go home. She knew her step-father would still be up, and she didn’t want to deal with him. She also badly needed sleep. She could do late nights at the theater and survive school on a few hours of rest, but only if she crashed hard on her nights off.

When she couldn’t delay any longer, she shouldered her bag and started the walk home. The air was cool, and the sky was already dark. October was approaching fast. She paused as a streetlight flickered overhead, and the hair stood up on the back of her neck. She looked around but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Even though she told herself she was being silly, Penny hurried the rest of the way home.

It was no safer there. She hadn’t even closed the front door behind her when Roy’s voice rose to meet her.

“Well, if it isn’t Miss Ivy League.”

She turned slowly to face him. In the poor lighting of the TV, he looked as if he’d grown out of the couch like some hulking appendage. A week’s worth of stubble peppered his jaw, and a beer gut protruded over his waistband. Penny didn’t bother counting the empty cans around him. She could tell by his voice that he was too drunk to go far.

“Hello, Roy,” she said flatly.

“Where the hell have you been? It’s past nine.”

Penny said nothing as she moved toward the stairs. She didn’t owe him an explanation. She doubted he would even remember this conversation in the morning. A half-empty beer can hit the wall beside her, splattering a little on her jacket, and she froze.

“Don’t ignore me, you little bitch.”

Penny made sure her face was blank before she turned around.

“I was studying with a friend,” she said, her voice empty.

Roy’s expression became ugly.

“Is that what you call it?” he sneered. “You think you’re so much better than everyone, Little Miss Smartypants. You watch. You’re going to end up stuck here just like everyone else. You’re a small town bitch, just like your mother.”

Penny didn’t have anything to say to that. She turned and escaped up the stairs. She could hear him shouting for her mother to come clean up the mess before she reached her room. She closed the door behind her and locked it, and it wasn’t enough. She stared at the dresser and thought about dragging it in front of the door, but it seemed unnecessary. Roy wasn’t going to be navigating those stairs any time soon. She’d just have to move it back in the morning.

She dropped her bag and ripped off her jacket, wadding it up and throwing it into the hamper. She couldn’t wear it now. It would smell like beer until she had time to do a load of laundry.

In the privacy of her bedroom, Penelope paced the small square of carpet and allowed herself to feel the things she never let anyone else see. They all said the same things about her. She’d heard everything Billy had said to her before, shouted drunkenly at home or whispered behind her back in the rest of the town. As if it was such a sin to want to get out of that place. As if she should be burned at the stake for having standards, for wanting more for herself.

She didn’t cry. She wasn’t a crier. But her hands shook while she paced, betraying her as they always did. Eventually, exhaustion overtook her, and she slept without dreaming.

* * *

 

Billy knew he’d made a mistake the moment he walked out of the lab, but it took him longer to accept it. Maybe Penelope was a stuck-up bitch, but he still needed her help. Cooper could drone up at the board all day, and it wouldn’t make as much sense as Penny explaining something once. In the back of his mind, he knew he’d been unfair to her, but he wasn’t going to say it. Billy Hargrove didn’t apologize to anyone.

But he did show up in the lab after practice. He set his book on the table beside her, and she raised an eyebrow.

“Let it never be said that Billy Hargrove doesn’t have nerve,” she said, turning back to her homework.

He sighed noisily as he sat down. “Is that how it’s gonna be?”

“That’s how you made it.” There was an edge in her voice he’d never heard before, and it made him defensive.

“Are you gonna help me or not?”

She sighed, resting her forehead in her hands, and he braced himself for her to tell him to get out. He deserved it. He knew that, but it still made him angry.

“Yes, I’m going to help you,” she said finally, raising her head and lowering her hands.

“What?” He thought he’d heard her wrong.

“I said I would. I’m not a liar.” She gestured for him to open his book and he did, still fighting off disbelief.

“Are you running for saint or something? You just let people yell at you?” he muttered, his eyes on the pages. It was the closest he could get to admitting he’d done something wrong.

“Your yelling isn’t the problem. You say the meanest things with a smile on your face,” she said.

“So why are you doing this?” He knew he sounded defensive and couldn’t stop it.

Penelope stared at him for a second, her lips slightly parted. She was cute. It wasn’t the first time he’d noticed. And not even in a hot librarian way. Just cute, with her light red hair and a faint dusting of freckles across her nose. She wasn’t flashy, but she knew what looked good on her. Completely unapproachable though. Obviously in a league of her own, one that even Billy couldn’t touch. They weren’t even on the same _planet_.

“I don’t know,” she said finally. He sensed that it wasn’t an entirely honest answer, but he didn’t press her. If it was pity, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“First time for everything?” he said instead. He rubbed a hand over his jaw and dared to smile at her. After a few seconds, she smiled back. He was surprised by the relief that swept through him. Maybe she hadn’t forgiven him, but she wasn’t mad at him anymore. He didn’t know why it mattered. This was a means to an end and nothing else.

“I only pretend like I have the answers to everything, Hargrove.” She tapped the open page. “Let’s start with these again.”

  
By Friday, he’d mastered significant figures. Actually mastered them, not just sort of knew how to do it like last week. They’d moved on to molar mass, and he felt like he’d run into a wall. Repeatedly. Headfirst.

“I don’t fuckin’ understand,” he muttered, throwing his pencil down and rubbing his forehead.

“I can explain it again,” Penny offered.

“Sixth time’s the charm?” he said sarcastically. He hated feeling stupid. It made him want to punch something.

“Why don’t we take a break?”

“Fuck your break,” he muttered, getting up. Angry and restless, he paced the length of the room and back. He took out a cigarette, and stopped at the look on her face. “What?”

“You can’t smoke in here. It’s a school.” She shook her head.

He gave a low chuckle and lit it slowly and deliberately. Penny was frowning as she got to her feet and attempted to snatch it away. He bobbed out of her reach and laughed, blowing out smoke.

“Stop it! You’re going to set off the fire alarm.”

“We light fires in here all the time,” he chuckled, holding the cigarette over his head. She jumped to reach it, but he was taller. He was watching her face the moment she realized she was being ridiculous. He smiled wider, silently taunting her to do it again.

Penny didn’t take the bait. She took a step back, but she couldn’t hide a smile. He felt a small sense of accomplishment at being the reason for it, and he took another pull off the cigarette before he handed it over. She shook her head as she put it out in one of the lab sinks.

“Careful,” he mocked on the way back to their table. “You might be having fun.”

“I have a lot of fun. I just don’t need a beer keg to do it.”

“Your loss.” He sat back down, running his hands through his hair. “Alright. Explain this shit.”

“Okay.” Penny was all business as she turned back to their books, but the hint of a smile lingered on her lips. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face as she peered at his notebook. “So, the question is how many oxygen atoms are in 55.785 grams of sodium phosphate. You set up your equation right, and the first time you see moles in the denominator, you can switch substances.”

Billy swore under his breath as he realized the mistake he’d made. He scrubbed it out with the eraser on his pencil. Penelope was adamantly against pens when it came to math.

“Why does it make more sense when you say it?” he muttered.

She hummed noncommittally. “I don’t know. You might be an auditory learner.”

He gave her a look. “English, smart girl.”

She smiled. “People learn in different ways. I’m really visual. Reading something on a page makes a lot more sense to me than listening to someone explain it. But for some people, it’s better to hear things out loud. They… I don’t know, they just process things better if they can hear it. You’re probably really physical, right? You learn things by doing them, like playing basketball or working on cars?”

He nodded, for once not minding that she had invoked basketball in her example. Probably everyone in town had seen him buried under the hood of the Camaro. It was another world under there. Even if he didn’t know exactly what everything was for, he could find out. It was all connected in a way that made sense.

“It’s just that it’s really hard to make this part of chemistry physical," she explained. "I bet you do really well on labs though?”

It was Billy’s turn to pause and think about that. He could usually muddle his way through if someone else was doing the math. It was too bad his partner was even worse at it than he was. He thought he'd gotten lucky being paired with Natalie Prescott (blonde hair, great rack), but it turned out she was more interested in what was in his pants than in passing chemistry. That had been fun until it started interfering with basketball. Now he kind of wanted to strangle her with her fake fucking hair.

“Yeah… I guess.”

Penny nodded. “If it helps you to read things out loud, you should.”

“You want me to read shit out loud?” The part of him that cared, desperately, what other people thought balked at the idea of looking that ridiculous, even with no one there to see it.

“If it helps,” she shrugged. “We can try it.”

“That sounds stupid," he said flatly.

“It’s not stupid if it works. Besides, who do you need to look cool for here?” She gestured vaguely to the empty room. As usual, she had his number. He wanted to say _you_ but suspected the answer was really _himself_. Penny seemed impervious to cool.

“You're just full of ideas, aren’t you?” He sighed, and it was a sound of resignation as he dropped his gaze back to the problem in front of him. Despite the sarcasm, it almost sounded like a compliment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18+; NSFW; Trigger Warnings: abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, domestic violence, violence, language, alcohol abuse, threats, racism, sexism, homophobia (If I have missed a trigger that you’d like tagged, please let me know!)
> 
> 10/10 do not recommend driving like Billy. Safety is important. <3

It was 3:15 and Penny was already at her usual table. Billy hadn’t been sure she would be there that early. He was even less sure why his feet had taken him in that direction. He sure as fuck didn’t want to study right now, but after two weeks of coming here after practice, it was a hard habit to kill.

She looked up before he had time to change his mind and turn around.

“Hey. Why aren’t you at practice?” she said.

The reminder was all he needed to bring the anger rushing back. He threw down his backpack like he was trying to throw it through the floor and threw himself onto the stool next to her. It helped, but not enough.

“Suspended,” he seethed. “For aggression. Basketball is a contact sport.” It was one of the things he liked about it. Penny’s face told him nothing. He didn’t know how she did that, kept everything she was feeling wrapped up tightly inside when his feelings came exploding out of him, usually in the worst ways. Sometimes he admired it and other times, like now, it pissed him off.

“For how long?”

“Next Friday,” he grunted.

“That’s not too bad.”

“Don’t fuckin’ tell me what it is.” He didn’t want to be talked down. He didn’t want to be told that he deserved this. He wanted to do something that would get this feeling out of him.

“Do you want to study?” she asked.

“Fuck no.”

As usual, Penny didn’t react to his venom. He wasn’t sure if she was immune to it or just ignored it to save time. That pissed him off too. He wanted to do something to shake her out of that maddening calm. She shouldn’t be that calm when he felt like he was about to come apart.

“Do you want to get out of here?” he said.

“And go where?” Her expression matched the skepticism in her voice. It sounded like she was saying no before she’d even heard the answer.

“Who gives a shit? Anywhere. Let’s go.” He snatched up his backpack and left without waiting for her. The air outside was cooler with the beginnings of a bite to it, and it felt better than the air inside. Even better than that was the sight of his car. It was possibly the only thing he really cared about besides basketball.

He tossed a casual glance over his shoulder like he was sure that Penelope had followed him, but it was a surprise that she had. Her bag dangled from one hand, her gray coat unbuttoned, and she looked at the Camaro like she didn’t quite trust it—or him.

“Get in.”

He didn’t invite a lot of people into his car. Penny wasn’t the type of girl he would usually be seen with, but she was the one available right now.

After a visible hesitation, she got in and buckled her seatbelt, stowing her bag near her feet. He turned the ignition, and the answering roar brought the smirk back to his lips. Penny smiled slightly at the sight of it, and then she grabbed the door handle as he peeled out of the parking lot.

“Oh.” She gave a little gasp of surprise as he pressed the gas pedal into the floor. He paid no mind to red lights or traffic laws as he sped toward the old highway. It was usually empty or close to it, and he enjoyed winding through the trees at breakneck speeds.

Penelope was clinging to both the door handle and the one over her head, and her face had lost most of its color.

“Maybe you should slow down?” she suggested.

In response, Billy stepped harder on the gas. He barely glanced at the opposite lane before he whipped around another car, his foot never so much as twitching off the gas pedal.

The trees were a blur going by. Penny had released the ceiling handle, but her grip on the door was so tight her knuckles were white. He felt a little twinge of satisfaction that something could unnerve her. She was always so fucking sure of herself, and not the way Billy pretended he was always sure of himself. Penelope’s self-assurance was real, and it was terrifying.

“Seriously, I think you should slow down,” she said.

“Relax,” he snapped.

“This isn’t safe,” she insisted.

He ground his foot into the gas pedal and the Camaro shot forward. As they sped over a hill, he could see a truck in the distance. He pulled into the opposite lane so they were head to head.

“What are you doing? Get back in your lane!” Her voice rose up an octave.

“Aren’t you having fun?” He grinned and knew it wasn’t pleasant. The truck leaned on its horn.

“Seriously, Billy! Stop it! You could kill someone!”

At the last moment, the truck swerved around them into the other lane, and Billy felt all the anger leave him in a rush of adrenaline. It wasn’t quite as good as the buzz from drinking, when he’d had a few to take the edges off everything but not so many that it had started feeling bad again, but it was close. He eased back into his own lane.

“Stop the car.” Penny said quietly.

“What’s your problem?” He frowned at her, the high fading. She clearly hadn’t gotten on his level.

“Stop the fucking car!” she shouted.

He’d had enough of her. He slammed on the brakes, leaving a trail of burning rubber behind them. Penelope slammed forward into the seatbelt and then back into her seat, but she was out of the car the moment it screeched to a stop.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Billy slammed his door behind him as he got out.

“What is my problem?” She whirled, two bright spots of color appearing in her cheeks. “What is _your_ problem? You could have killed someone!”

“We were fine!” he yelled.

“You drive like a lunatic!” she screamed back. “You put other people’s lives at risk just for—what? A thrill?”

“Get back in the car.”

“Absolutely not.” She shook her head. Her hands were shaking, and she hugged them to herself to stop it.

The anger that had started to ease behind the wheel of his car made a comeback and spilled out everywhere.

“Get in the fucking car, Penelope.”

“No.” She shook her head, stubborn as ever.

“Get in the car, or I’m leaving your ass here,” he said in a low voice.

“Then go.” Penny wouldn’t look at him. He couldn’t tell whether she wanted him to leave her there or not, and he didn’t care.

Billy swore as he walked away, and it was his hands that were shaking as he gripped the wheel. The urge to punch something was almost overwhelming.

Penelope shook her head and moved to the side of the road. He leaned across the passenger seat and yanked it shut before swerving around her and peeling away.

 

Billy’s car had barely disappeared over a hill when Penelope realized her bag was still in it, along with her phone. Jonathan probably would have come to get her, but no one knew she was out here.

She swore softly, pressing her hands over her face. It still felt hot with anger. She hadn’t come unglued like that in a long time. She’d have felt bad about it, except it was clear that Billy didn’t.

She sighed, lowering her hands to button her coat. The cold wasn’t unbearable, but the sun was already sinking behind the trees, and it would be worse when it got dark. She thought she could make it back to town before then. She got around most places by walking anyway. This was no big deal.

She let out a breath. This was no big deal.

Penny was cursing Billy and his psychotic driving by the time the police car pulled up beside her. She was grateful that it was Hopper and not one of the idiots who worked for him. He rolled the window down, and she paused beside it. After a second, she stuck her thumb out like she was looking for a ride.

“I know you’re not hitchhiking, or I’d have to arrest you.” Hopper’s typical brand of sarcasm made her smile in spite of herself.

“Hitchhiking isn’t illegal, Sheriff. Just unsafe.”

“It’s illegal on highways. This is a highway.”

“If you want to get technical.” She shrugged. “Do you think it will be warmer in a jail cell?”

“Get in the car, Penelope.”

“Thanks, Sheriff.” She breathed a grateful sigh and climbed into the passenger seat, glancing at him before she nodded toward the heat. “Do you mind?”

He reached over and thumbed the knob up to high.

“Thank you.” Penny held her hands in front of the vent and tried not to swoon as the warmth washed over her. Hopper put the car in gear and eased back onto the road at a nice, reasonable speed.

“What the hell are you doing out here?”

“I was trying to avoid dying in a horrible car wreck.” She paused, her eyes flicking out the window to the darkening trees. “But I see now I might have traded it for being murdered in the woods.”

She could see out of the corners of her eyes that he was smiling and trying not to.

“I thought you were smarter than that.”

“Me too,” she sighed, sinking down in the seat. “Next time you see Billy Hargrove, please give him a speeding ticket for me.”

“Don’t you have enough problems without hanging out with Billy Hargrove?”

“We weren’t really _hanging out_. I’m helping him in chemistry.”

“Way out here?” She didn’t have to look at his face to know he didn’t believe her.

“An error in judgment,” she muttered, feeling a little like a scolded child.

“Not the worst one you could make,” he said darkly.

Penny silently agreed.

* * *

  

She was sitting in the courtyard the next morning when Billy dropped her bag at her feet.

“You left your shit in my car.”

“You left me in the middle of nowhere,” she returned coolly, rifling through it for her phone. It was dead.

“You didn’t _die_ ,” he pointed out acidly.

“No thanks to you.” She pinned him with a sharp stare, and for a moment, she thought she saw a flicker of something like guilt. It was gone before she could be sure. He turned away, but paused when she added, “Will I see you after school?”

“Really?”

There was definitely something when he turned back to face her. Something underneath that haughty disdain that looked like surprise or wariness mixed with anger. Billy was always a powder keg just waiting to go off, but for the first time, she wondered if he was trying to make her give up. The smarter part of her brain said she should. The part that thought everyone else in the world had already given up on Billy Hargrove disagreed.

“Of course. I said I would.” She nodded. He opened his mouth, and Penelope was sure something nasty or dismissive was going to come out of it.

“Maybe,” he muttered and walked away.

 

Of course, he couldn’t afford to walk away even if he wanted to. Since he didn’t have practice, Billy arrived at her table as soon as his friends had cleared the parking lot. Asking for Penelope’s help was a fucking adventure in swallowing his pride, and the hits kept coming. He didn’t know what made her stick with it, but he knew his reasons. He’d do a lot worse to stay on the basketball team.

They worked quietly except for when he had questions, but he didn’t interpret that as displeasure. Penny didn’t seem big on small talk, and once there was a book in front of her, it was like she wasn’t even in the same room anymore. He set down his pencil with a sigh, rubbing the spot between his brows.

“Did you get a ride home?” he asked.

“My phone was in your car.” Her voice was carefully neutral. “But Hopper picked me up.”

“Sherriff Hopper?” Billy raised his eyebrows.

“Yes. He’s my friend, kind of.”

“You’re friends with the Sheriff,” he repeated, deadpan.

“As much as you can be friends with a grumpy old man.” Penny raised one shoulder in a shrug. The corner of Billy’s mouth twisted into a smile.

“I heard he’s a real asshole.”

“I have a gift for tolerating difficult people.” She gave him a cool smile.

“Obviously,” he chuckled.

Penny rested an elbow on the table, turning to face him more fully.

“Do you want to talk about what was really going on yesterday?” she asked.

Billy felt his posture go rigid, and he made a conscious effort to unclench his fists.

“No. You got bent out of shape over nothing. End of story,” he said.

“That’s not quite how I remember it.” Penny raised an eyebrow. “But it had nothing to do with me either way.”

“What are you talking about?” he muttered, uncomfortable.

“I’m talking about you needing a healthier way to channel your anger.”

“Fuck off. Nobody asked you for your fuckin’ help.” He frowned, the ever-present anger stirring as though they’d conjured it by saying its name too many times.

“Actually, you did ask me for my help. Not with this, but I think they’re related, given that it’s affecting me now,” she continued evenly.

“So you have some big idea?” he snapped.

“No. Just a small idea.” She smiled at the look on his face. He hadn’t expected her to meet that challenge. Billy dragged a hand over his face.

“Why am I fuckin’ surprised,” he muttered. Penny was already getting to her feet and rummaging through her bag. She held up a tiny, cracked iPod, its headphones wrapped many times around its middle.

“Do you like dancing?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said cautiously.

“Why are you looking at me like that? I haven’t given _you_ any reason not to trust _me_.” She laughed, gesturing for him to follow her to the back of the room.

“I don’t trust anybody, West,” he said, but he followed her, a little interested in spite of himself.

“That must be lonely.” She gave him a sad smile and plugged the iPod into a little wireless speaker. Like the iPod, it also looked like it had seen better days.

“Did you run that over with your car?” he asked, deflecting any conversation about loneliness. Billy wasn’t the kind of person who was ever alone unless he wanted to be.

“Of course not. I found it in a parking lot. And I got the speaker at a garage sale.” She grinned. She pushed play, and Billy stopped dead at the noise coming out of it.

“What the fuck is that?” He stared at the speaker like it was a particularly gruesome form of alien life.

“Everyone knows Taylor Swift.”

He watched, torn between horror and amusement while she started dancing.

_Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake..._

Penny’s dancing was a lot of bouncing and twirling, and like everything else, she seemed completely unconcerned about whether she looked cool doing it. He fought a smile, but not well enough.

“What?” She grinned, her hair a streak of red behind her as she spun around.

“Nothin’,” he chuckled. “Your dancing’s kinda cute.”

“Come on!” She held out a hand. He didn’t take it, but after a grudging second or two, he joined her. It was easy to dance to, even if it wasn’t to his taste, and dancing had always been easy for him. Penny was right; he excelled at physical things, and dancing was just an extension of that.

_To the fella over there with the hella good hair..._

She lip-synced the words, crooking a finger at him, and Billy laughed in spite of himself. He was a little sorry when the song ended. For a minute, he’d been out of his own head.

“I can’t believe you made me listen to that,” he said instead of what he was actually thinking. The truth was that it had been _fun_ , like riding bikes or running down a hill when he was a kid had been fun. It was effortless and, strangest of all, it didn’t hurt anyone, including himself.

“Just wait until I tell everyone you listen to Taylor Swift,” she teased lightly.

“They won’t believe you.” He smiled though, because if there was one thing he’d learned about Penelope, it was that she never told anyone anything. She just let them think whatever they wanted.

“I know. Lies are so much easier to believe, aren’t they?” She nodded toward the table. “You pick something.”

Billy picked up her iPod, doubtful that there was anything on it he would like. He was surprised by the number of things he recognized as he scrolled through her artists, and the number of things he didn’t.

“Shit. What is all of this?”

“All of what?” She leaned on the table beside him. Tegan & Sara. Tesla. The Beach Boys. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to the bands she liked.

“You have fucking hair metal on here.”

Penny shrugged. “I never know what I’m going to be in the mood for. Aren’t you ever _not_ in a Scorpions mood?”

“Never,” he said flatly. He scrolled toward the top and picked “I Was A Teenage Anarchist.” She flashed a smile of approval as the first notes came on.

He was able to lose himself in the music more quickly this time. They danced around each other, but never too close, never touching. It was easy to pretend the rest of the world, even Penelope, didn’t exist. And she was right, again, because he didn’t feel like he needed to punch something when it was over.

He reached out, giving one loose strand of her hair a light tug, and tried not to react when she stepped further out of reach. It was a clear message. _Hands to yourself._ Girls never did that to him, and it stung a little. After the shit he’d pulled yesterday, he couldn’t really blame her.

He gave her a small smile. “You’re gonna have to stop being right about everything. It’s starting to freak me out.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18+; NSFW; Trigger Warnings: abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, domestic violence, violence, language, alcohol abuse, threats, racism, sexism, homophobia (If I have missed a trigger that you’d like tagged, please let me know!)

Dancing helped, but by the end of the week with no basketball to help him blow off steam, Billy was climbing the walls. It had only been ten minutes since their last break when he threw down his pencil in frustration.

“Don’t you ever want to get out of here?”

Penny set down her pencil and sighed quietly, the only sign that she was even slightly irritated by the interruption.

“I’ve been wanting to get out of Hawkins for as long as I can remember,” she said.

Billy almost smiled, but he didn’t want to be distracted. She was the smartest girl he’d ever met, but sometimes she missed the point completely.

“Out of _here_ ,” he emphasized, gesturing to the room. “But me too.” He gave in and smiled.

“Oh.” She smiled back, a quick reflexive thing. “I guess not. There aren’t a lot of other places within walking distance. And none that don’t cost money.”

“I have a car,” he reminded her.

“Yes, I remember. I won’t be getting in it again.”

He sighed and knew it was dramatic. “You still mad about that?”

“I’m not mad,” Penny said. “I just try to learn from my mistakes.”

He decided to fight that battle another day. He wanted to leave. He didn’t care if it was in the Camaro or not. “Fine. What’s within walking distance?”

“Um… There’s a diner.”

“Good. Let’s go.” He was already standing, restless to be doing something. “We can—I don’t know. Get some coffee and study there.”

“Some of us can’t afford coffee.” She smiled slightly, tugging down the sleeve of her jacket. Somehow, Penelope made jean jackets and sundresses look like the height of sophistication, whereas Billy’s jacket made him look like what he was--trouble. He paused, momentarily hindered by this.

“Then I’ll buy the coffee.” The offer made his skin itch. He’d never bought anything for a girl when he didn’t expect to get anything out of it, but he didn’t take it back.

Penny tilted her head, her eyes narrowed slightly in interest. He pointed a finger at her.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He could barely tolerate his own judgments, let alone hers.

She laughed silently and looked away. “That’s a very nice offer, but I can’t accept.”

He growled under his breath. “Why not?”

“I think you know why.”

“Penelope.” He leveled her with a flat gaze. “Get your ass out of that chair, or I'm gonna do it for you. We're getting the fuck out of here. Right now.”

She studied him for a second, like she was gauging how serious he was about it, and he took a step toward her. She held up her hands.

“Okay. I’m not calling that bluff.”

He blew out a noisy sigh that was both exasperation and relief as they packed their bags.

“It’s just coffee. Why d’you gotta make everything so complicated?” he teased as they headed for the door.

“Force of habit, I guess.” She smiled.

The air outside had grown crisp and cool with the middle of October, and the sky was a cloudless blue. Leaves crunched beneath their feet as they crossed the parking lot of the school and reached the road. He glanced back only once at the Camaro, sitting forlornly in the near-empty lot.

“You realize the diner is public,” she pointed out as they walked. “People are going to see us together.”

“I don’t give a fuck about people.” He knew it was a lie, but in the moment, it felt true. What was the point of being Billy Hargrove if he couldn’t do whatever he wanted? He figured his reputation could handle being seen with her. People already knew she was tutoring him. It wasn’t possible to keep a secret in Hawkins.

“I hate this place,” he muttered, kicking at a rock in his path.

“Me too,” she said, surprising him.

“Why?” he asked. He didn’t usually ask her personal questions. He didn’t usually ask anyone anything.

“It’s not just that it’s a small town,” she mused. “I think I could handle that. It’s that the people here are also very… small-minded. Everyone is in everyone’s business, and there’s no room for anything even a little bit different. I guess I just want more. And most of the people here can’t even imagine more.” She looked down at her feet.

Shame flooded unexpectedly through him, hot and bitter. He’d judged her for wanting better. He’d thrown it in her face and stormed out the door. For a second, he didn’t feel any better than the rest of the town.

“That happens everywhere,” he muttered, not looking at her.

“Does it? I’ve never been anywhere else,” she admitted. “Do you miss California?”

“All the fuckin’ time.” He was glad she’d changed the subject.

A car sped past them, blaring its horn. Billy didn’t recognize it, and he raised his middle finger as it disappeared over the hill. Penny’s face had gone tight.

“Friend of yours?” he said dryly.

“My mother’s husband. Roy.”

He smirked at the way she said it. “Is that a bad word?”

“The worst.”

“Worse than a Billy?”

After a few seconds, she returned the smile.

“Much worse than a Billy. Tell me more about California?”

He recognized the change of subject but let it go. He didn’t really want to talk about fathers either, his or hers or anyone else’s. He spent the rest of the walk filling her in on his favorite things about his home. The hot, dry weather—none of this nonsense about snow and cold. The girls everywhere, and the casual disregard for most dress codes. The traffic, which used to irritate him but had turned out to be something he missed. Winding through the mountain roads at night when the sky looked close enough to touch.

It didn’t hit him that it had been several minutes since Penny had said anything until they were standing beneath the awning of the diner. He broke off in mid-sentence and tossed her a wary look. He never talked that much, not about things that mattered to him. If she noticed, she didn’t let on. She just tugged the door open, and Billy trailed her inside.

_Watch yourself_ , his mind warned. _This girl is not your friend._

But he wasn’t sure he believed it.

His eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, and he followed her to a table by the window. The seats were cracked vinyl, and he scoffed faintly as he took the seat across from her. Everything in this town was shit. Penny interrupted his thoughts.

“It must seem strange to you,” she offered. “Everything here is old. Some of it’s falling down. California must be really different.”

He clenched his jaw. That was almost exactly what he’d been thinking, just in nicer words, and he wasn’t sure he liked how easily she was able to read him.

“It is,” he said shortly.

She nodded sympathetically and picked up a menu. He did the same, if only to give his mind something else to do. He wasn’t hungry, but he ordered fries and two cups of coffee anyway before Penny could say anything.

She pulled out her chemistry book while they were waiting, and he rolled his eyes.

“You never quit, do you?”

“You said we were going to have coffee and study,” she reminded him.

Grudgingly, he took out his own book and went back to work on his practice problems. It wasn’t better, doing homework here. In fact, it was a little harder, since his gaze kept wandering out the window or toward the few other customers scattered around the diner, but the dreadful weight had eased from his chest. He didn’t feel like he was about to come apart.

Penelope had iron-clad concentration, so there was little interruption when their food arrived. He was halfway through a plate of fries before he realized she wasn’t eating anything. He nudged the plate across the table, and Penny glanced up.

“No, thanks.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I don’t have any money, and this isn’t a date.” She frowned down at her notebook and scrubbed something out with the eraser.

“No, it’s not. Stop making this a big deal and have some fuckin’ french fries,” he snapped.

“Okay. But snacks are on me next time. After I get paid.”

“Whatever,” he muttered, irritation warring with satisfaction. He had no idea what that argument was about, but he appeared to have won it because she picked up a fry and dipped it in ketchup.

The door opened, making their pages flutter on the table, and Jonathan Byers walked in. He paused by their table, looking uncertain.

“Hey, Penny.”

She looked up, smiling. “Hi, Jonathan. Do you know Billy?”

“No,” Billy said flatly.

“No,” Jonathan confirmed. His gaze shifted quickly back to her. “Have you seen Will around?”

“Not today. He’s not at the arcade?” She peered out the window at the arcade across the street. Billy had dropped Max off there dozens of times, but he’d never been inside.

“No, I checked. Thanks though.” He shifted awkwardly and glanced around the diner one last time. “See you later.”

“Of course. I hope you find him soon.”

“Fucking faggot,” Billy muttered. Jonathan’s shoulders stiffened, but he didn’t stop, and the door thudded softly closed behind him.

“I cannot believe you just said that.” Penny’s face was stony.

“What?”

“That’s extremely offensive.”

“It’s supposed to be,” he said, shifting his weight in the booth. He was not going to let her shame him about this too.

Penny shook her head, her lips a thin line.

“First of all, it’s nobody’s business but Jonathan’s who he’s sleeping with, if anybody.”

Billy opened his mouth, but she cut him off.

“I’m not done. Second of all, there is nothing, _nothing_ wrong with being gay, or bisexual, or ace, or anything else. So just stop.”

“What are you, my mother?” he muttered, scowling. She didn’t seem to think that merited a reply. She picked up her pencil and went back to her homework.

“Don’t fucking ignore me,” he said quietly. For some reason, she flinched, but her expression was smooth when she raised her head again.

“I’m not ignoring you, Billy. I just don’t have anything else to say on this subject. Do you?”

“Yeah. What makes you think you have the right to tell people what to do?”

“What makes you think you have the right to treat entire groups of people badly just because they’re not like you?” she returned calmly.

“I wasn’t talking about a group! This is about Byers.” His voice was starting to rise.

“I don’t think it is. And when you use words like that, you’re making entire groups of people less human than you. Less deserving of respect, or decency, or rights. It’s not okay.”

He stared at her, dumbfounded and angry. “You’re wrong.”

“Homophobia is wrong.” Her pencil drifted across the paper.

“I'm not a homophobe,” he muttered.

“Oh, Billy,” she laughed softly. “I hear acceptance is the first step.”

“So what if I am?” he said defensively.

She set down her pencil, looking thoughtful.

“You don’t like it when people call you white trash, do you?”

Billy’s expression darkened. “Who said that?” He’d beat the shit out of them.

“No one.” She waved it off, but her eyes were serious when they met his. “But everyone. Do you know what I mean?”

He ground his teeth. He knew what she meant.

“But you know, and I know, that being poor doesn’t make you a good or a bad person. It doesn’t make you trash. It doesn’t mean you deserve to suffer. And neither does who you love.”

He stared at her, his expression a mix of anger and disbelief. He had a feeling he’d lost this argument, and he wasn’t sure how it had happened. Worse, he thought Penny might actually be right, if only by default. She was right a scary amount of the time. He picked up a french fry, but they were cold.

* * *

 

Billy slammed his locker door shut after school to find Nancy Wheeler standing on the other side of it. She was frowning, but he’d never seen her wear another expression when she was looking at him. He looked her slowly up and down with the usual level of disdain.

“You need a date to the Halloween party? ‘Cause I’m already taken.”

“You’re disgusting,” Nancy said without affect. “I want to talk to you about Penny.”

“What about her?” He shrugged into his jacket. He had time for a smoke before practice, assuming Wheeler made it quick.

“What’s going on between you two?” she asked.

He smiled and knew it was a lot more suggestive than it needed to be.

“What’d she tell you?”

“She said you study together.”

“Then that’s what it is.” He picked up the strap of his backpack and started for the door. Nancy followed at his heels like an angry terrier.

“I know you left her on the side of the highway.”

“She tell you that?” He turned to face her, grinning as he backed out the door. Nancy caught it, scowling.

“She said you had a disagreement and she chose to stay. Which means you left her on the side of the highway,” she snapped.

He shrugged, hiding his surprise. Penelope had every opportunity to paint him as the villain in that scenario. Days after the fact, he could admit, if only to himself, that it had been wrong to leave her out there, but he wasn’t giving anything away to Harrington’s ball and chain.

“We done?” He leaned against the brick wall outside and tapped a cigarette out of the pack.

“No, we’re not done.” Nancy drew in a breath, and he could tell she was gearing up to say whatever it was she’d come here to say. “Penelope is my friend. I don’t know what she’s promised you, but I know she’ll go a long way to keep her promises. I don’t think you should take advantage of that.”

“Who said I’m taking advantage of her?” he asked, blowing smoke in her face.

Her shoulders stiffened and she backed away, waving her hand to dispel the smoke.

“Well, what is she getting out of it?”

He cocked an eyebrow. “You should ask her.”

Nancy shook her head, clearly frustrated. “Just… be careful. Please. She’s a good person. She doesn’t need anyone to make her life harder than it already is.”

She turned toward the door, and Billy called after her.

“She promised to help me. That’s it.”

Nancy paused, nodding slowly. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” she said and disappeared through the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18+; NSFW; Trigger Warnings: rape (implied), abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, domestic violence, violence, language, alcohol abuse, threats, racism, sexism, homophobia (If I have missed a trigger that you’d like tagged, please let me know!)

Billy swore as his shoulder collided with a row of lockers, and he shoved the aggressor off him, perhaps a little harder than necessary. His friends were roughhousing in the hallway, blowing off steam on a Friday afternoon before Halloween weekend. Billy didn’t care about Halloween, but he cared that there was a party tomorrow night.

Then again, _care_ may have been a strong word. Parties in Indiana were sad affairs of stolen twelve packs and teenagers hooking up in bedrooms. It wasn’t that different from California, but he told himself it was. It was easier to hate Hawkins that way.

His friends were laughing as they stumbled toward their last class, spilling papers, upending wastebaskets, and terrorizing passersby.

“Out of the way, fag,” one of them jeered, shoving a skinny kid out of his way.

White noise drowned out the clamor of the hallway. Billy couldn’t have said how it happened. One second, he was fucking around with his friends, and the next he had one of them shoved up against the lockers. It was Jake, a scrawny sophomore who was always trying to prove he was cool enough to hang out with them, but they all knew the truth. As soon as you had to prove you were cool, it was obvious you weren’t.

Billy was almost as surprised as Jake was, but he kept it to himself. Too late to back down now. All he could see when he heard “fag” was Penny’s lips forming the word “white trash.”

“Watch your fuckin’ mouth,” he snapped.

Jake halfway smiled, like he wasn’t sure whether he was joking or not. Billy’s hand on his chest kept him pinned to the lockers.

“Since when do you stick up for faggots?” His bravado was false, and Billy was abruptly disgusted with the whole situation. The other guys were watching, so he adjusted his grip, pressing an arm over Jake’s throat and momentarily choking off his air. He smiled the slow, mean smile he was known for.

“Just do what I tell you to do and don’t think about it too hard,” he sneered. He abruptly moved his arm and Jake staggered, gulping in air.

Billy didn’t wait to see if he was okay. He continued down the hall with a swagger like he hadn’t been interrupted, and after a moment Tommy slung an arm around his neck and whooped, kicking over a trashcan on their way by. The revelry continued.

He could feel the gaze on his back, and he cast a casual glance over one shoulder. Penny’s eyes were right where he expected, and they locked momentarily before he turned his attention back to his friends.

_That wasn’t for her_ , he assured himself.

The truth was slightly worse.

He had no idea what that had been for.

 

  
Miraculously, Billy was no longer failing chemistry. He’d managed to pull his failing grade up to a B- with his last two exams, and the fact that he actually did his homework every day seemed to be helping a lot. He wondered if other people knew this secret to passing.

The days passed slowly without basketball to make them go faster. He no longer dreaded afternoons studying with Penelope, but it was no replacement for an actual life. His sentence was up on Monday, and with the Halloween party to look forward to that weekend, he was in a reasonably good mood.

Penny was working through her calculus homework when he arrived at her table. Her pencil flew through the problems like something possessed, and he watched for a second, torn between his natural disdain and grudging admiration.

“It’s rude to stare,” she said without looking up.

“Girls love it when I stare at them.” He sat in his usual place and tipped the stool onto two legs.

“I’ll bet they do.” She put her pencil in the book to mark her place and closed it, but Billy stopped her before she could pull out her chemistry book.

“Hang on. I want to show you something.” The stool thunked back down to all four legs, and he reached for his own bag and pulled out his last test, the B on the top circled in blue.

Penny’s face broke into a genuine smile.

“That’s great, Billy! Good for you.”

“Thanks.” He grinned, exceptionally pleased with himself. She was the only person who would be happy for him, who knew what it meant to see a passing grade on the top of the page. Better than passing. It wasn’t like he could show his dad or his friends.

“I knew you could do it. You worked really hard.” Penny’s smile was kind.

“I guess.” He leaned forward, resting an arm on her table, and raised a suggestive eyebrow. “How you gonna resist me now that I’m sexy and smart?”

Penny kept her composure, but her eyes were laughing at him. For once, it didn’t make him angry. He’d learned to tell the difference between her teasing and her actual criticism. Unlike Billy, she didn’t smile when she was being unkind.

“I’ll try to find a way,” she said lightly. “Does this mean you don’t need me anymore?”

“No.” He chuckled quietly at the absurdity of the idea. Without her help, he’d be right back at the bottom where he’d been.

“Actually, I was wondering how good you are at English?” The words came out more hesitantly than he meant them too. It should have been easier, asking for her help a second time. It was, but that didn’t make it easy. Penelope’s expression didn’t so much as flicker.

“I’m fine at English. What’ve you got?”

He pulled a slightly crumpled essay from his backpack, and even Penny cringed a little at all the red on it.

“Oh. Red pens should really be outlawed, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” he huffed, smoothing the pages flat on the table. “I have no idea what she wants me to do.”

“Do you mind?” She made to pick it up, and he nodded. He shot little glances at her while she read through it, and tried not to fidget. He knew how bad it was, but Penny’s face gave nothing away.

“We can work with this,” she said finally, looking up.

“Really?” Billy didn’t try to mask his surprise. It hadn’t looked like there was anything salvageable through the battlefield of Ms. Peterson’s red pen.

“Of course. When is it due?”

“Next Friday.”

She nodded. “That’s plenty of time.”

He listened patiently while she talked him through thesis statements and topic sentences. Chemistry was hard. Writing was harder. Words had never been on Billy’s side. He could never find the right ones when he needed them. According to Penny, that didn’t matter.

“Writing is a skill like anything else,” she said. “You can get better at it. And an essay is a highly structured form of writing. Get the right pieces in place, and you’ll be fine. Bring your draft on Monday so we can work on it again.”

She pushed the pages back to him. He’d made his own notes in the margins (because Penny insisted that he take his own notes; she wasn’t his secretary), and he had enough to work on through the weekend.

“Homework on the weekend? You’re such a nerd,” he muttered, without any heat.

“I believe the word is _optimist_ ,” Penny said primly.

He stuffed the essay back into his backpack and stood while she packed her own bag with more care.

“Are you going to the Halloween party?”

“No.” She tucked her own untouched homework into her book. “Are you?”

“Yeah.” He felt the smallest flicker of disappointment and dismissed it. Of course she wasn’t going. She was probably staying home to read. “You don’t like Halloween?”

“I like it fine. I have to work.” She smiled. “Are you wearing a costume?”

“Why the fuck would I wear a costume?” He nudged the empty stool back under the table while she laughed and shouldered her bag.

“Wishful thinking. You’d make a good James Dean.”

He entertained the idea, briefly, because it sounded like a compliment. She held her phone up, searching for a signal, and he plucked it out of her hand on impulse. He texted himself, feeling the answering buzz in his pocket. Penny gave him a quizzical look as he gave it back.

“In case you change your mind,” he said. The puzzled look didn’t vanish, but she nodded. Billy didn’t allow himself to overthink it as he went for the door. It would only get him in trouble. The empty hallway echoed with their footsteps.

“I saw you here earlier,” she said. “It was nice of you to stick up for Chris.”

Billy felt his expression close down, like dropping a wall.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said flatly, and for a second, he didn’t. Then he realized Chris must have been the guy Jake was harassing. Billy hadn’t even known his name, wouldn’t have been able to pick him out of a line of students. Whatever that had been about, it wasn’t about Chris.

“Of course not,” she said seriously. She opened the door to the parking lot, and a chilly breeze blew her hair out of her face. There was no humor in her expression. He didn’t know what that look was, but it made him feel uncomfortable. Exposed.

It passed quickly, and she smiled as she stepped outside. “Happy Halloween, Billy.”

 

* * *

 

  
It was after midnight on Halloween when Penelope got off work. She was grateful not to be there until dawn. The theater was showing a _Nightmare on Elm Street_ marathon. In theory, she approved, since it gave the teenage population of Hawkins something to do besides steal candy and throw eggs at houses. In practice, she suspected the culprits of those kinds of pranks were going to do them anyway. The occasion also required costumes for the staff, and she’d scavenged a long-sleeved black dress from her closet and a witch hat from the dollar store. She’d pushed it back to hang behind her, her red hair trailing loosely against all that black.

As usual, she didn’t want to go home. Stepping out into the chilly night air, she lifted her phone to text Nancy. The party was probably long over, if the history of Hawkins parties was anything to go by, but her friends might have gathered to do something else.

Her finger hovered over Billy’s name in her contacts. Whether the party was over or not, she doubted he’d be in any state to answer his phone. She still had no idea why he’d given her his number in the first place. _In case you change your mind_.

She hadn’t changed her mind. She scrolled past his name and texted Nancy. Penny gave it a minute or so, shifting from foot to foot on the parking lot concrete to stay warm. If she didn’t answer in that time, she wasn’t going to. She blew out a breath, not that surprised. It was late. Nancy was probably asleep.

Reluctantly, she started toward her house. The town had an apocalyptic feel after nightfall, made worse by the fact that it was Halloween. Streamers dangled from trees or drifted, abandoned, across the street, and candles stuttered inside jack-o’-lanterns on porches, growing dimmer as the night went on. Penny wasn’t superstitious, but she wouldn’t have blown them out either. It destroyed the magic. There was nothing on her porch, no Halloween decorations to be found anywhere. Her house didn’t belong to her. When she had her own place, maybe she would decorate for everything. Just for fun. Just because she could.

There were voices ahead and raucous laughter, and she turned a corner to see a familiar car parked outside the empty drugstore. It was surrounded by noisy poltergeists and open bottles. Or maybe they were just guys from school. She figured Hopper had his hands full tonight, or he would have already cleared them out. Frankly, Penny would have preferred ghosts to teenage boys.

They hadn’t seen her yet. Going around would take her fifteen minutes out of her way, and she sighed as she backed up a step. It was safer, assuming that the possible unknown danger of cutting between buildings was better than a known danger of a bunch of drunk guys in a parking lot. She’d take her chances with the unknown.

Before she’d taken more than a step, a whistle rang out behind her, followed by a chorus of catcalls. She heard at least one _Witchy Woman_ and a few more that weren’t so polite. A voice saying _Shut the fuck up_ carried easily across the open space, and she turned back in time to see one of the figures detach itself from the car. Even in the meager light of the parking lot, she recognized Billy. The glow of his cigarette cast his face into a spooky glow, the shadows seeming deeper by contrast. She stamped down a twinge of paranoia as he drew closer.

“With all the alcohol you’ve had tonight, is it safe for you to be near an open flame?” she asked sweetly. She could smell it on him from a few feet away.

Billy smiled, and it looked like a grimace in the meager light.

“Worried about me?”

Penny made a noncommittal sound as she crossed her arms over her chest. She was slightly more worried about herself right now. She didn’t really think Billy would hurt her. They were alone together almost every day. But it was late, and she was spooked, and she’d lost bets like that before. His gaze traveled down her body, and she fought the urge to shake it off like it was a spider, or something worse.

“I like your costume,” he said. It sounded like _I like your legs_.

“Thanks.” Penelope fidgeted with the edge of her cheap witch hat. “I like yours too. But James Dean usually wears a shirt.” His black jacket was open over his bare chest. Her gaze flicked away quickly. She didn’t want to give him any ideas.

“Thanks,” he laughed softly. “You wanna drink?”

“No. Thank you. I’m just heading home.” She backed up a step and circled around him, putting him between her and the rest of the parking lot. Billy turned to follow her progress, and then he glanced back at the others.

“I’ll walk you.”

She hesitated, surprise and confusion warring with unease.

“That’s not necessary,” she said.

“It might be.” There was a thread of something darker in his voice.

“Why is that?” Her tone was a little sharper than she intended. She started walking again, and Billy trailed a few steps behind.

“Someone’s probably gonna follow you out of this parking lot. It might as well be me.”

“That’s very reassuring,” she snapped.

Billy seemed to realize he’d said something wrong because he stopped, swaying slightly under the influence of so many beers.

“That’s not what I meant,” he mumbled.

“Tell me, Billy. Am I safer with you than I would be alone?” Penny didn’t wait for him, and after a moment he caught up.

“We have a deal, remember?” he reminded her. If he laid a hand on her, she wouldn’t help him anymore.

She laughed bitterly. “Is that the only reason?”

“No. I told you I’m not like that.” He was starting to sound angry. She was surprised it had taken this long. Anger seemed to be his default emotion. Maybe alcohol dimmed it instead of making it worse. She wished the same worked for Roy.

“Fine. Just walk over there. You’re making me nervous.” She waved for him to stay on the sidewalk as she moved to walk beside the curb. Maybe she’d feel safer in the middle of the street, but she wasn’t yet willing to risk getting hit by a car to get away from him. He hadn’t done anything threatening, but Penny didn’t care whether she was being fair to him right now. Later, when she was somewhere safer, she could apologize for being paranoid. For a few moments, there was nothing but the sound of their footsteps echoing in the street, and then he chuckled.

“Just say it,” he said.

“Say what?” she hedged.

“Whatever you’re dying to say. You’re gonna hurt yourself keeping it in like that.” She could see his smirk as they passed under a streetlight.

“Why are you friends with people like that?” she burst out.

“People like what?” The smirk was gone. Penny gave him a dark look.

“People who would follow a girl out of a parking lot, or worse.”

“Your friends wouldn’t do that?” She could hear the smile in his voice.

“Never,” she said flatly.

“All two of them?”

“Of course this is about popularity,” she fumed quietly. “There are more important things.”

“Like what?”

“Like integrity.” She drew in a breath. “Like common decency.”

“Feel better?” he said after a moment.

“No,” she admitted. She hugged her arms around herself against the chill.

“Where are your friends now?” He flicked his cigarette into the gutter.

“I don’t know. At home asleep, probably.”

“You always walk home alone?”

“Sometimes I get a ride with a girl from work, but only if we’re working the same shifts.”

“That’s not very safe,” he commented.

“It’s Hawkins. And what choice do I have?” She shook her head. Feeling sorry for herself wouldn’t get her very far. It was easier just to deal with it.

He was silent as they reached her house, and Penny sighed at the glow of the television coming from the living room windows. Roy was still up. This was not her night.

“This is me. Goodnight, Billy.” She turned at the end of the driveway, stopping him from coming any closer.

“Night.” He raised a hand in farewell, and Penny cut across the yard so she could circle around the back of the house.

“What are you doing?” he called.

“Keep. Your. Voice. Down,” she hissed, shooting a glare over her shoulder. He took that as an invitation to amble closer, grinning as he stage-whispered.  
“What are you doing?”

“I don’t want to talk to my step-dad.”

She circled the house to the tall oak tree in the back and gazed up at her window. It wasn’t the easiest way in and out, but she’d used it often enough to know her way in the dark.

“Yours?” Billy peered up at the dark window, and she nodded.

The silence stretched awkwardly while she waited for him to leave. He didn't seem to be in a hurry.

“Well… goodnight,” she said finally.

He nodded, turning away.

“Hey, Billy?”

“Yeah?” He paused, and she gave him a small smile.

“Thank you for walking me home,” she said softly.

“Sure.” His answering smile was a shadow in the darkened backyard. “Night.”

“Goodnight,” she echoed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18+; NSFW; Trigger Warnings: needles, drugs, rape (implied), abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, domestic violence, violence, language, alcohol abuse, threats, racism, sexism, homophobia (If I have missed a trigger that you’d like tagged, please let me know!)

The world was tilting beneath him, and Billy fought against a tidal wave of grogginess. His eyelids were glued shut, his limbs similarly leaded down beneath the weight of… what? Had he been drinking? This felt worse than a hangover.

The bare wood was uncomfortably hard beneath him, and he wondered vaguely why he was lying on the floor. If he’d passed out in plain sight, his father was going to kill him.

It was the fear of Niall Hargrove’s reaction that finally wrenched his eyes open. Yellow light glared from the ceiling, and he squinted into it. It wasn’t bright, but it still burned. For a fleeting, weightless second, he had no idea where he was.

The details trickled back slowly. He’d been looking for Max. The memory fluttered out of reach. He tried to sit up, and his limbs refused to obey him. His hands twitched at his sides though, and pain shot up his arm. His face and hands ached.

The pain brought the rest of the night back in a rush, and he groaned. He remembered finding Max with Harrington and a bunch of kids, including Lucas Sinclair. He remembered Harrington punching him, and the sick, empty pleasure of beating the shit out of him. And then… Had Max actually drugged him? He’d have been furious if he had the energy. Instead, he gave up the struggle to sit up and let his head fall back against the floor.

Minutes passed while images of the night chased themselves around his head. He remembered that he was at Byers’s house, but there had been no sign of him earlier. The house seemed to be empty now. It wasn’t just quiet. It felt empty. Billy wanted the hell out of there.

Gradually, it felt like the weight blanketing him had lifted, and he was able to force himself upright. After another moment or two, he pushed himself to his feet. He listed dangerously, but it wasn’t the first time he’d tried to walk while intoxicated. He staggered toward the door with little thought except to get to his car. He didn’t feel well enough to drive yet, but it didn’t matter. He’d feel better just sitting in it.

The Camaro was gone. Billy swore, long and furiously, as he sank onto the Byers’ couch. He wrestled the phone out of his pocket and then stilled as the reality of the situation hit him. There was no one to call. There was no way to explain this to Niall, let alone his friends. Billy himself wasn’t sure exactly what had happened. With a growing sense of dread, he realized he had no idea where Max was now. Going home without her was out of the question.

He scrolled through his contacts and paused when he got to Penny’s name. He’d never used her number, and she’d never contacted him either. It had been an impulse to give it to her in the first place. She seemed to know what to do in any situation though, and she might be the one person he knew who could be trusted to keep this to herself. He pressed call before he could talk himself out of it.

 

He'd forgotten that Penelope didn’t have a car. By the time she walked there, he was feeling almost back to normal, but he still hadn’t left the Byers’ couch. He’d been drugged in their house, so he didn’t feel bad about sitting there a little longer. It was unsettling to be alone in a stranger’s house though, and the lights kept flickering like he was in a bad horror movie.

Penny knocked and then let herself in. The door hadn’t been locked. Her eyes widened as she stepped inside and took in the wreckage of the living room, and then she spotted him on the couch.

“What happened here?” She stepped inside and nudged the door shut behind her, frowning slightly as a piece of paper crinkled underfoot. The walls were covered in the drawings. The Byers were weirder than he’d ever guessed.

“Long story,” he grunted, making no move to get up.

She picked her way across the floor, shaking her head at the sight of him.

“I’ll get the First Aid kit.”

She seemed to know her way around, and she disappeared around a corner before he could tell her not to bother. She reappeared and perched on the edge of the couch with a white plastic box and a damp washcloth. She dabbed at the blood on his face, and he hissed in pain, elbowing her hands away.

“Leave it,” he growled.

“Don’t be a baby,” she said, ignoring him. “And hold still, or it’s going to hurt more.”

Something trembled inside Billy, threatening to give way. Nobody had tried to take care of him since he was a small child. He clenched his jaw, but it made his face ache, so he stopped and let her clean him up.

“I don’t think it’s broken, but I’m not a doctor.”

“It’s fine,” he said with less venom.

She hesitated as she picked up one of his hands. The knuckles were raw, and he couldn’t tell how much of the blood was his.

“Who were you fighting?” she asked. The antiseptic was cold and stinging, but he didn’t mind the pain. It was chasing away the dregs of whatever was still in his system.

“Harrington.”

“You punched Steve?” The corner of her mouth twitched like she was trying not to smile.

“Is that funny?” Billy raised an eyebrow.

She shrugged one shoulder. “A little. Who hasn’t wanted to at some point?”

“You wanted to punch Steve Harrington?” He was amused in spite of himself.

“He tore the head off my favorite Barbie when we were kids. He ran over it with a plastic Jeep.”

Billy snorted a laugh, and pain radiated through his nose and forehead.

“What a dick.”

“I know.” She smiled. “I’ve never quite forgiven him.”

“Remind me not to get on your bad side.” He meant for it to sound sarcastic, but it lost something on the way out. He just sounded tired.

The lights flickered and buzzed, and Penny paused in cleaning the cuts on his hands. She seemed to notice for the first time that the house was empty.

“Where is everyone else?”

“I don’t know.” Billy ground his teeth despite the pain it caused. “But they took my car.”

Penny’s hands stilled again, and then she laid a hand gently on his arm.

“We’ll figure it out,” she promised.

The thing inside him threatened to crack. He shook her off and got to his feet. She gathered the materials and went back into the bathroom to put them away. The lights flickered again, the darkness stretching out for several seconds before they stuttered back to life.

“This place is fuckin’ freakshow,” he muttered.

“Hey, Billy?” Penny’s voice came from the hallway. He stepped around the corner and found her gazing at the drawings taped to the wall. “I think I might know where they went.”

“What? How?”

She stepped back into the living room, pointing out a shape on one of the drawings.

“Do you see that? It looks like Lover’s Lake. Which means this is Lake Jordan, and this is the river.” She traced her finger along one of the lines, and then stepped back into the hallway with a motion for him to follow.

“This whole thing is a map of Hawkins.” She pointed to an X on the wall.

“X marks the spot,” Billy muttered.

“Exactly.” She nodded.

“Why would they be there?”

“I don’t know.” Penny shrugged. “Do you have anywhere better to look?”

He didn’t.

“Where is that?”

Penny’s brow furrowed in concentration. “I don’t know. I know where it is and how to get there, but it’s… it’s nothing. I don’t think. It’s probably just farmland.”

“I’m getting my fucking car back,” he growled.

She nodded. “Let’s go.”

They left the lights on in the Byers house. Billy wasn’t sorry to leave it behind.

It was quiet for several minutes, their shoes crunching over leaves and gravel as they walked.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened tonight?” she ventured after a while.

Billy bit back several more asshole-ish remarks and reminded himself that she was here when nobody else was. And he really didn’t want her to leave. The night was too weird.

“I was looking for Max,” he grunted. “I found her here with Harrington and a bunch of kids.”

“Oh.” She looked thoughtful. “Was Jonathan here?”

“No.” He thought about it for a second. All the kids looked more or less the same to him. “I don’t think his brother was either.”

“Strange,” she murmured softly. “What brought on the fight?”

The air went dead silent between them. If Billy had been made of weaker stuff, he might have squirmed. She raised her eyebrows in a silent prompt, and his gaze flicked away. He couldn’t meet her eyes.

“I don’t like her hanging around with that Sinclair kid,” he grumbled finally, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Oh, Billy,” she sighed.

“I warned her not to,” he said darkly.

Penelope shook her head.

“Lucas Sinclair is a good kid. They’re all really good kids. Max probably couldn’t have found a better group of friends. They’re smart. They stay out of trouble.”

He raised an eyebrow, and she gave a short laugh.

“With a few exceptions,” she admitted. Billy shook his head.

“I don’t trust him.”

“I know. That’s called racism.”

“Don’t start with me,” he snapped. Penny held her hands up in a push-away gesture.

“Fine. So Steve was, …what? Defending Lucas, and you punched him? Please tell me you did not try to beat up a kid.”

He stared at her, and she looked away, appalled.

“Oh my god, Billy.”

He felt a sick, unexpected wash of shame at the look on her face. He cleared his throat, uncomfortable.

“Can you just… not tell me how this is all my fault tonight? Maybe tomorrow.” The joke fell flat to his ears, but she nodded.

“Alright. Then what? Steve probably got his ass kicked,” she guessed. “But none of those kids could have pulled you off him.”

“Max drugged me.”

“Drugged you?” she repeated. “With what?”

“I dunno. A needle full of something.” He rubbed his neck. It didn’t hurt, but remembering the feel of it there was a little worse than pain. Penny looked more surprised by this than anything else he’d said.

“What the hell is going on?” she murmured.

Before Billy could answer her, there was a rustling in the trees to their left and something burst out onto the street. Penny jumped and gave a tiny squeak, clutching his arm. He wrapped it around her, silently shielding her from whatever it was. The thing was four-legged and the size of a large dog. He could feel Penny’s breath on his neck as she pressed closer, her fingers loosely gripping his shirt, while the thing got its bearings. It turned toward them, and its face opened like a flower as it growled, advancing a step or two.

There was a howl in the distance, and Penny startled again, but otherwise they were both silent and still. The thing lifted its head and howled a reply, and then barreled into the trees on the other side of the street.

Penny’s breath came out in a rush, and she buried her face in his chest for a moment.

“Oh my god. That was so scary.” Her voice was muffled by his shirt. It took Billy a second to find his voice.

“What the hell was that?” he asked.

She peered up at him and shook her head, her face pale.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” he protested. “You’re the one with all the answers.”

“I—I don’t know.” She stepped away, shaking her head, and pressed a hand against her forehead. She smoothed her hair like she was making sure she was still in one piece and lowered her hands. They were trembling slightly. “It wasn’t real, Billy.”

“That was pretty goddamn real,” he countered furiously. “Its fucking face opened up.”

“No, I know. I mean—I mean it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I’m not sure anyone has ever seen it before,” she added softly.

There were howls in the distance, and they both turned automatically toward the sound. Penny reached for his hand again, and he wrapped her fingers tight in his, more grateful than he would have admitted for her company right now.

“I think they’re going where we’re going.” She mimed the curve of the road and then gestured into the trees. “They’re just taking a more direct route.”

Billy gripped her hand. “Can you run?”

She nodded, and together they jogged down the darkened street.

 

They found his car in the middle of an empty field. Billy slowed to a walk. There was nobody else around. There were none of those creepy dog things either, and he was silently grateful. This night was weird enough.

As they approached, the air changed, the hair on the back of his neck standing at attention. Penny sucked in a breath as the car’s headlights glowed suddenly bright, and Billy threw up a hand to shield his eyes.

“Who the hell has been driving my car?” He snarled, stalking forward. He stopped short when he saw there was no one in the driver’s seat. A bolt of unease shot through him. The car wasn’t running. The keys weren’t even in the ignition. Impossible.

“Penny?”

“I see it.” She hovered behind him, her face washed out in the bright headlights.

“What could cause that?” he asked.

“I-I don’t know.” She shook her head. “You know more about cars than I do.”

Nothing. Nothing. Lights went out when something was wrong. They didn’t just come on like magic.

“Where is everybody? Why would they take your car and just leave it here?”

“Pretty sad fucking joke,” he growled, but he agreed with her.

A chorus of howls interrupted them, and they both jumped. It sounded like a whole pack of those creepy dogs were right on top of them. Billy looked around wildly, but there was nothing there. Penny’s hand found its way into his again, and he didn’t pull it away. Her eyes were on the ground.

“Billy,” she whispered. “I think they’re underground. I think they’re right underneath us. That looks like—”

He followed her gaze. The ground was darker in one place, almost like—

Penny screamed as a hand shot out of the hole, followed quickly by the rest of a body. Several more followed, and most of them were shouting. In the glow of the car’s headlights, he recognized one of the kids from the Byers house.

“Mike?” Penny said weakly. He turned, looking almost as stunned to see her as they were to see him.

“Penelope? What are you doing here?”

“We’re looking for Billy’s car. What are you doing here?” she said.

“Wait, you’re with him now?” Mike’s eyes were on their locked hands.

Billy tensed for Penny to pull away, but if anything, she gripped his hand even harder.

“That’s not even in the top twenty most important things right now,” she said coolly. “What is going on here? Why did you take the car? Why are you—”

More shouting erupted from the hole, and Max and Lucas hauled the other boy out of it, followed by Steve. Billy didn’t remember all their names, but he seethed a little seeing the two of them together. He started to take a step forward, but Penny’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“Don’t we have enough problems right now?” she said softly. He gave one curt nod and pulled his hand free.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is he doing here?” the unknown kid said loudly, his eyes on Billy. Billy clenched his fists and said nothing.

“Are you two, like, together?” he asked, eyeing the small space between him and Penelope.

“Dustin,” Penny’s voice was exasperated.

“I’m just saying. You could do better,” he said. Billy ground his teeth as voices erupted among the middle schoolers.

“Hey!” Penelope cut through their chatter. Her voice was firm, and she looked like somebody’s mother. “Somebody needs to tell us what’s going on right now. We saw this thing—It was like a dog…”

“But its fuckin’ face opened up,” Billy put in dryly.

“Demodogs,” Dustin said automatically.

“What’s a demodog? And where are Will and Jonathan?”

The five of them exchanged glances, but it was Mike who spoke up.

“It’s kind of a long story.”

“Tell it on the way home,” Billy interrupted with a pointed look at Max. “Dad’s gonna kill both of us.” He doubted that. His dad was going to kill him. It didn’t matter that Max had snuck out without telling anyone where she was going. It would still be Billy’s fault. Silently, Max threw him the keys to the Camaro, and he handed them to Penny. He still wasn’t feeling stable enough to focus on the road. His eyelids were heavy, and running had drained what was left of his energy.

“You drive,” he said to her.

“I don’t know how,” she said.

“What?” he stopped dead, not sure he’d heard her correctly.

“I mean, I learned,” she clarified. “I took Driver’s Ed and everything. But I couldn’t get my practice hours in, so I never got my license--”

“Penny,” he interrupted her.

“What?”

“Drive the fucking car,” he said in a flat voice. She looked momentarily flustered, but then she nodded.

“Right. Okay.”

Everyone else piled in the back even though there wasn’t enough room, squabbling over where to put their knees and elbows. Billy was too tired to make Max sit up front with him. He slumped in the passenger seat and hung his arm out the window. He wanted a smoke, but it seemed like too much work to dig them out of his pocket.

Penelope carefully adjusted the seat, buckled her seatbelt, and turned the key in the ignition, as if the world hinged on the preciseness of her movements. Billy felt something inside him relax slightly, and he realized the feeling was trust. He trusted her to get them home. He trusted her to handle whatever was happening tonight.

She put the car in gear and glanced in the rearview, her eyebrows raised. “Alright. Start talking.”


End file.
